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My gratitude list for year 2005

As I take the moment to unpack the year that was, I find these precious souvenirs:

1. Things I tasted, looked at, smelled, heard, and touched:
For the first time ever, I ate at the hospital canteen!!! (1st day duty in veterans 12/12/05), la coste pink, bath and body cotton hand wash and cologne, pinoy music appreciation is back in my vocabulary : )

2. Experiences I will cherish:
Spending a day in manila zoo with the ust adopted community kids for UST-UNICEF, and being their ate for a day. The AIESEC XPERIENCE in Subic. The retreat in Caleruega Batangas…and that breathtaking view that made me feel that I was not and never was alone. Night outs with my best friend 3x. Practicum (and it’s still on going…) food service in ihaw1 and albergus…kakapagod sobra! Pero enjoy xa. Hospital practicum…veterans… (I think it’s a sign form God that, I really should take up geriatrics after college) and up next…the community practicum…alaminos, Laguna! (For a month, i’ll be living with my blockmates…pinoy-ust big brother bang version ito?!?)

3. Life lessons I need to learn:
To Take my time… not to rush…and just hush…once in a while

4. This belief I outgrew:
that if you give everything…time, love, affection, care, concern, all that mushy eeeky things… a lady’s man will and can change. But NO… once a babaero…always will be a babaero for life. *ahem* CHALLENGE: to every self confessed, or unaware, or just plainly pasaway babaeros out there: patunayan nyo na mali ako at pwede mabago yan. coz I lost hope na… *ahem* ku…ya …da..de..at kala mo nka ligtas ka… IKAW din noh!*winkZ*

5. This conviction I lived by:
I’ll be who I want to be…and no one can stop me! You can TRY… and that’s all you have…

6. These risk I took:
…still…BATTLE SCARS...Giving so called “love” a chance…still the same… but am happy : )

7. These sufferings strengthened me:
Overspending and being broke… to being sobra kuripot then over splurge… ewan ko…buti na lang wala akong card! Buti na lang

8. What influenced me most:
Mi PAPA’

9. What I regret:
Being impatient… and I should have just felt his heartbeat than looking straight into his eyes that night… he was a liar… a damn good liar. He STILL IS a liar… a very good liar…

10. The persons who meant so much to me:
EVERYONE…from the ones who thought that they made my life a living hell… kala nyo you’ve succeeded? NO… thank you pa coz you’ve even made me STRONGER! All I can say is…what comes around goes around… what comes up must go down… haha… then of course, my family, dade specially, my real friends (you know who you are) and my Lord and my God…

11. My unfulfilled desires:
Before graduation, I must go to Thailand, after graduation, I’ll go to Hong Kong, after reviewing for the board examsq and after passing the board, I’ll go to Korea, Japan, and to Berlin for the love parade. then …still…I want to go bungee jumping, trek the crater of mt. Pinatubo, go to bora with friends ONLY, go to paris (hoy von! Bago matapos ang 1st year ng work ha???!!!), go to spain (ms. paula gonzales, my dearfriend… is your offer still good? *winkZ*)…buy an ipod, WORLD PEACE! - Tschüs! Adios! Año 2005!

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What I've been doing for the past months...

DEC. 05 :HOLLYDAZE…

… am starting to like someone… : ) *teehee*

and been over partying…(is there such a thing?) Hehe… it all started with the crazy text from my besy 3xc, she was inviting me to watch cueshe’ (sp?) in metro bar that was Thursday nov. 30. when I got there…saw the poster of hale and sugarfree gig on dec. 1, Friday… I was dieing to go. Hale and sugarfree in one gig???? HALE YAH! SUWEEEET! So I went there with Dave (thankx Dude!!!!!). By Saturday, my tita wanted to go to metro bar… so…3 days straight… plus the make up for my lates in my food service practicum… buti buhay pa ko ngayon!

Then yesterday dec. 9… 3xc, archie (hubby ni 3xc) paolo, cat and me went to bluewave macapagal and cat’s sister followed also. And we partied the night away with southboarder! Jay was really nice! ; ) thank you!... anyways… tom. Dec 12, DOOMS DAY! It’s the start of my practicum in Veterans… huhu…takot tlga ko sa hospital!...huhu…
wish me luck!

NOV. 05

… loosing grip of someone… : (

Practicum months are here…fist stop…ihaw1 At philcoa… at fists, really…to be honest… I HATED the thought of me being in ihaw1. hello??? Ano ang ihaw1?... well, I totally regret for saying that… it’s a lapse in my judgment. For the fist 2 weeks there… I’ve learned how to work the cash register, chop onions endlessly, pack veggies and pork sisig endlessly,… and to simply just knowing how to deal with a handful of different personalities. There are the cute-astig-friendly-to-reklamadors-impatient-bitches customers. Then just simply getting to know 4 good people from my section the other section was even a triumph for me.

Then… for the 3rd week for the food service practicum… my golly!!!! Albergus… a subjugation…I hate how people treat one another there… or maybe it’s just that, I still need more time to understand, investigate even how things work there…again…another lapse in my judgment. But I guess the “system” works for them….25 yrs. Na sila. But don’t get me wrong… I met 2 wonderful persons there that I just adore! Lola Pinay…who travel across Europe with her barkada! WOW! And Lola Bawang…(hehe) 2 legends in Albergus that has witness how the establishment started and grew.

Hospital… coming up!... I hear Veterans is one FEAKY and eerie place…hehe (here we go again…. Haha!)


Experience THE AIESEC XPERIENCE

Met a lot of people from different schools… form the NLDS_AIESEC in subic. We became people who work hard and party HARDER! : )
Wishing I could go to the NATCON this dec.

On being ALL ALONE…

We had to go to school to get all the things needed for our practicum…clearance, recommendation…and other stuff… I went to school alone…left school still alone. Well, in my group…we usually wait around for each other… even if one is always late… *ahem* waiting and being there for each other comes naturalLY in the group. But this particular day… everyone was so busy going around, panicking, being hot headed all of a sudden *ahem* then being and feeling alone and left out *ahem* well, suddenly this creepy feeling just ate all my confidence out…and I (of all people) gone wild and started to feel this way…ALONE. Felt that, our group no longer feels the same way towards each other…that nagkalimutan na at nagkaiwanan na… yes they were busy with their own stuff... not just stuff…but with their future....practicum yun noh… I felt that there was no waiting anymore… no backing up for each other anymore… that my expectations for my friends was not met. That they left me hanging… even in the ride going to my aunt’s place… I rode in the middle then we were nearing SM manila and the passenger on my left side got off… so as the passenger on my other side… so I was the only one who was still in the middle. I was stuck in the middle (literally tho in a different meaning)… then it hit me… I was stuck in the old days where my life became so routinized sa mga nakaugalian na. na kung saan comportable ako. Then I realized… (finally) I was being selfish… being immature…being palaasa… plainly being stuck in the past, and won’t let in new experiences, experiences good or bad that will mold me as a person. Now, I find solace being alone. I find happiness and satisfaction when I accomplish things all by myself. The formula is: to just balance it. ALONE = with OTHERS. After all… no man is an island. I maybe alone now but never will be alone… my friends will always be there for me. Their thoughts, encouragements, cheers and all the memories from the past and still to come…they’re there for me, like I am there for them. WE CHANGE A LOT BUT STILL THE SAME…I KNOW WE ARE COOL

OCT 05 :

THESIS THERE… THESIS HERE… THESIS EVERYWHERE!

We finally finished our thesis…our work of love and labor! thank GOD! We presented it before our dear prof. Fe. San (the mother at diyosa ng nutrisyon!) and our panelist.. our blockmates. : ) WE DID GREAT! I can say that we totally experienced how to make a real thesis! A very good one, might I add. Again… In this journey, we met loads of people who were so kind enough to help, guide, mag asikaso, at manlibre sa amin ; ) people who will forever change our lives! THANKX GUYS!

FINALS… OKTOBER TEST!


My golly… remembering how our finals just passed us by…well ok …passed me by…oh how time flies.... and that one particular test that I TOTALLY HATED!... the one that was right before nutdis…the prof. moved the schedule to an earlier time pa! how insensitive can she get! Well am glad that over.

JULY - SEP. 05

Still working on our thesis and feasibility study.

Wedding of my best friend TRIXIE…. Hands up…. They wanted to go on with it… hope it really last forever… : ) I wish them all the very best! I can see naman that they REALLY wanted to be together…and no one will stop them from being MR. and MRS. MOLINOS. Kudos To the newly weds! : )


JUNE 05

The study team went for the 3rd time to Baguio. AGAIN??? you say… yeah we did! Hell yah! Now Baguio is just like an extension of our school…home…
Shoy and me will forever remember that one nakakainis at nakakabwisit an bus company! Don’t get me started how we were able to manage to go to Baguio. Well, thankfully, by the time we crossed the boundaries of the town before Baguio proper, we were able to sit our selves properly…then boom! in five mins time… we were in Baguio already… then again…how time flies!
Spending a time with shoy in that bus, in that embarrassing moment was really something! Now… I can say that…WE ARE CERTAINLY CERTIFIED TRAVELERS! No obstacle can stop us from reaching our destination! Kudos to my partner in crime…SHOY! : )

We tried our best to get every detail, information, and kung anu-ano pa for the completion of our thesis… we worked our asses off… but still we enjoyed our “work-post vacation break” : )

MAY 05

THESIS APPROVED!


We were allowed by Lieutenant Bonifacio Agas to conduct our expose’… I mean… our thesis… our title…

PHILIPPINE MILITARY ACADEMY FEMALE CADAETS’ MEAL:
NUTRITIONAL ADEQUACY OF SELECTED 20-25 YEARS OLD PMA CADET’S MEAL FROM APRIL TO SEPTEMBER 2005

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the deal with platonic relationships...

it's been awhile since my last post... tinambakan ba daw kami ng thesis...feasib., case studies, at kung ano ano pang studies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hehe pero enjoy...kahit WALA pa ako nasisimulan. hahaha

Von emailed this to me... makes sense...so i posted it here... true! that platonic relationships aren't complicated... TAU LANG ANG NG PAPAKUMPLIKA...hehe (o ako lang?...hmmm) wahahaha

Things learned from intergender friendships (General Advice Article) THE PREMISE of this article lies on theprinciple that sometimes, loving a person doesn't mean it has to be romantic and loving a personfor the rest of your life doesn't mean you have to end up marrying them. Can a man and a womanjust be friends? I'd say yes and they should be. Hindi dahil kinaibigan ka, liligawan ka na. Notevery guy who befriends you has an ulterior motive. Get over yourself. Don't flatteryourself. There is a reason why he befriended you, but don't automatically assume that it's because he wants to be your so-called boyfriend. Ifthis will be the principle you'll follow every timesomeone asks you to be his friend, you're gonna miss a great deal from the friendship. Hindi dahil mabait sa iyo, nililigawan ka na.There are people who are natural ly sweet and kind. There are people who are innately goodand no matter how wicked you seem, they just find it so easy to be kind to you. It doesn't meanhe is courting you. Don't put yourself through unnecessary stress trying to figure out if he'scourting you or not. Because I think if he is, you won't have to guess, you'll know and you'll be very certain about it. Hindi dahil he talks to you a lot, he loves youna. You don't befriend a person if you absolutely abhor him, right? Chances are you make sensewhen he talks to you, or you're probably verypatient listening to him. The two of youprobably connect on some level but why does it always have to be assumed to be romantic? Being twointelligent, mature human beings, you need to accept that it's nice to share a cup of coffeeover a stimulating conversation, and that you don't have to automatically put romantic connotationto it. Relieve yourself of the pressure. It's just coffee and a shared interest. Hindi dahil cute ang friend mo, crush/love mona siya. This is the most amusing thing that hit me lately. People always assume that becauseyour friend is cute or should I say, hot (because cute is a word you describe your high schoolcrush while hot is a word you use to describe a hunk), "lakas amats mo na for repapips!" Let me just say this, at least from my own personal experience, I'm just nearsighted, I haven't gone blind. I can still appreciate God'screation! However, there will always be weird things,crazy things, stupid things that will keep you, believe me, from having a crush on him. First of all,you'd know his history with women, enough to judge what's good for you. Second, don't you justhate it when a guy who's absolutely always put together, who looks intelligent enoughpronounces the word country as "kawntri" and the word mango as "meynggo." Call me crazy for judginga person just because he can't pronounce these words right. I admit, I'm crazy. Hindi dahil you hang out with each other mostof the time, you'd end up being boyfriend- girlfriend. Self-explanatory... There are athousand, no million different reasons why things don't always turn out that way. There is no oneproven formula. For all we know, the reason why he likes hanging out with you is because he likesgetting kikaytips from you. He probably plans on being kikay himself and he needs a mentor. A dinner with a guy friend does not necessarilymean equateto a date. Especially if you're paying for your share no. Hello? Three thingsto consider:> the place, the topic and how the two of you actually planned to meet. First, how it wasplanned? If it were a date expect that he would ask you out at least three days before the actualdate to giveyou some lead time, to give you the notion that you are not just a filler on hisschedule. Second, the place, if it were a real date, the both of you would want real food and a placewhere you could really talk things through. Don't go out with a guy to a movie on Friday night ifyou're really serious about him. Going to a movie is more like treating him like a "filler" justbecause you had nothing to do on a Friday nightso you might as well go out. Topic. Ha! You wouldn'tbe talkingabout chikang artista, chikang opisina or argue if the one girl's boobs are real or not.You wouldbe probably talking about sensible, quitepersonal stuff. I therefore conclude that platonicrelationships are never complicated; people just have tendencies to complicate them

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Evaluacion de Pelicula

SUPER SIZE ME

It’s a clear and graphical description of what MCDIET can do to you and your health. For Morgan Spurlock, very heroic thing to do! Well done!

Americans are fat. Two out of three Americans are overweight or obese, but where does personal responsibility end and corporate responsibility take over? On the heels of two teenage girls suing McDonald’s for making them obese, director Morgan Spurlock sets out to discover what has made people in America so fat. The result is “Super Size Me,” a hilarious and often terrifying look at the effects of fast food on the human body.

Spurlock decided to conduct an experiment in which he would subject himself to a diet of nothing but McDonald’s fast food for a month. He only allowed himself to eat what was available over the counter at the restaurant (including water), he couldn’t super size unless asked (he ended up being asked 9 times all told), he had to eat every item on the McDonald’s menu at least once, and he had to eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day. Throughout his descent into the maelstrom of crappy food, he visited doctors and health professionals to track his decline in health.

At the beginning of the experiment, Spurlock clocked in at a svelte 6’ 2” tall and 185 pounds. His cholesterol was a healthy 168, his blood pressure 120/80, and his body fat measured 11%.
A month later, Spurlock’s weight had shot up to 210 pounds, his cholesterol was 230, and body fat had increased to 18%.

Rather than just following Spurlock as he visits new and exciting McDonald’s restaurants, “Super Size Me” shows interviews with medical professionals, advertising executives, and persons on the street in order to get a better idea of why people eat so much fast food, and what their attitudes toward the companies are.

“Super Size Me” presents a scathing indictment of the practices used to lure people, especially children, into eating fast food. McDonald’s sets itself up for exactly the kind of lawsuit it was subjected to simply because of its targeting of children with clowns, “happy meals,” and cartoons.

Spurlock has used a great deal of humor to address an issue that is rapidly becoming unfunny in this country, and he should be commended for it. “Super Size Me” may be an example of one man’s battle with the bulge, but it has much more to say about the alarming rate in which Americans are packing on the pounds.


Credit goes to Mr. Peter V.H.


CHARLIE and the CHOCOLATE FACTORY…and the LOVE for FAMILY

The message: children and parents alike are punished for their bad behavior

Here are some other thoughts to ponder on…

  • Families…on being so protective, always on your back making comments about what you should and shouldn’t do which makes a lot of us irritated but you know what… They do that because they just want to protect you… coz they love you.
  • Charlie won the factory… and Willy Wonka gained a family…
  • Moral lessons thru the songs the Oompa-Loompa sang
  • 5 different personalities… lesser rotten got picked…who are you among the 5 kids? Charlie is one saintly, well-behaved kid, Augustus Gloop – the fat kid, Veruca Salt – the spoiled brat, Violet Beauregarde – the incessant gum chewer, and Mike Teavee – video game whiz.
  • The attitude of the people inside the store who wanted to make loko Charlie just to get their hands on the ticket… LET’S TRY NOT TO BE LIKE THEM!
  • Dreams do come true… chances are up to you…
  • Once in a lifetime opportunities… it can never be valued by money… people, the “stupid ones” value money more and are willing to pass out once in a life time opportunities…

But… did it ever cross your mind that the story of Roald Dahl’s Willy Wonka and the chocolate factory is like THE life of Michael Jackson?

“Consider the reclusive lifestyle, the fetishes of wardrobe and accessories, the elaborate playground built by an adult for the child inside.” It was as if Roald Dahl was a time traveler who visited the future and grew fascinated by Michael Jackson and decided to write a spoof about him in his time without anyone really knowing the source. The only problem with that idea was that since he was the only one traveling to the future, no one else in the world would get the joke…. (get’s mo?)


In this film, 5 lucky kids get invited to Wonka’s magical Chocolate Factory: two little boys, a fat kid and two annoying girls. Each time a girl asks Wonka a question, he barely gives them a second of attention. The same goes for the fat kid and the television kid. Wonka is only interested in one little boy here: Charlie, the sweet and well-mannered kid without a pot to piss in. This would be the kid to tickle Michael Jackson’s fancy, should any of those molestation allegations be true. (hehe) At the end of the film, he even asks Charlie to live in his factory without bringing his family along. The film justifies this type of action from the character with perfect reasoning but it still brings wonder to the viewer’s imagination.

…hehe… que casualidad!


willy jackson...
No offence ment to Mr. Depp…I like Johnny Depp…it’s Willy Wonka’s character played by him… not HIM per se ok?

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sacudido!

CAUTION: vulgar words coming your way…my apologies…but I just can’t help it…tao lang ako… tapakan ako… lalo na ang palimya at daang-daang pamilyang damay…IBANG USAPAN NA YAN!

Ok… people specially those from the freakin’ government have a thing for the obvious… but don’t do anything bout it. and IF they do decide to act, they opt for the dark side…or lemme say who ever party bids the highest for their INTERGRITY, PERSONALITY, MORALITY, (oo nga naman, why would they settle for thank you, gratitude, and clean conscience… if they can get more out of being practical with the reason of “kasi-po-iniisip-ko-lang-ang-aking-pamilya-kaya-ko-tinanggap-ang-perang-inalok-sa-akin” at least nga naman, they would look good kasi they were just thinking about THEIR family… eh naisip ba nila…pano ang justice? How about the families that are living around the villa? E How about just plain doing your f*cking jobs? NANDYAN KAYO TO HELP PEOPLE…not to deprive them from their rights!... geez man! You freakin’ know who d f*ck you are! MAGKANO BA BINAYAD SAYO at you are dropping the case??? Huh??? Isn’t it obvious that what you’re trying to do is INJUSTICE? C’mmon man… imbecile shit! Good for nothing son of a b*tch! Sige…what goes around come around! tignan nlang natin where ka pupulutin! Have you ever heard of KARMA? Are you deaf or just plain stupid? It’s LOUD (AWFULLY LOUD!) and clear (crystal clear!) that the establishment you’re protecting IS a PAIN in our ears?! Kapal mong humarap at tumungtong sa pamamahay namin! If I were you…I’d check my GMRC. Go back to basics… do some research (and phu-leeease… DON’T BE BIAS… and don’t get ruled by money… it won’t do any good for your application form for heaven) don’t bother to show your aZ here!

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WHAT I AM...to me

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2 days before HELL WEEK

Hell week is coming (prelims) I remembered Tapy was the one who coined it THE HELL WEEK. He used to say that whenever I was reviewing while talking on the phone with him. Usually he would tease me and just say “mag tiwala ka sa kandilang naka tirik”… hay…that coquetear-ation died a natural death. hehe..(if you do wish hard to forget... you'll eventually WILL forget. specially with the help from reliable friends...and shoulders to cry on...you'll forget an asswh*le) am NOT BITTER...that's so last year! am just telling the truth that he was a royal asswh*le.

Anyway… hell week is fast approaching. I usually study in starbucks but this time, I was on a mission to find a better (will there be any coffee place better than starbuks?...friends, if you find one…tell me ok), more convenient and cheap place for me to study… (you’re thinking, why not the library or better yet, at home?) Well, our house is near or should I say, an open target shooting range (which the GOVERNMENT SHOULD CLOSE its OPERATION due to the fact that it IS a NUISANCE for our neighborhood and hello??? Isn’t it obvious… It’s located in a residential area. NOT an ideal place) is located at the back of our house. And the library in school is… let me just say…is not conducive for studying. (more of for sleeping)


Well, today Vonne (ei you!) and I finally checked out FUDGE. A localized starbucks near UST situated along españa. Well, the place has a convenient location for students of the university belt. The choices of foods are a bit limited, only serving some known coffee mixes, pastas, and dulces. I would say, I had a high expectation for the place, but it didn’t match up with what I expected. Or so I thought… I’d give 2 1/2 cups (5 being the highest) for their selection of coffee mixes. It costs extremely low. Just fit for the budget of students. Von not a fan of coffee, liked the frap coz it only had a hint of coffee in it. But I didn’t (any coffee addict won’t either) … the jasmine tea that I ordered was quite good tho. Jasmine herb is known to calm the sense which is good for “ngarag” students. We’d give 4 spoons for their pasta selection (which they only serve tuna carbonara and the chili version of it) both were delish! Even the pasta alone can be eaten. Plus a rich serving of the tuna/milky sauce equals a scrumptious meal worth the students’ money. Though the ambiance was a bit too inviting for sleeping…it is fine for meeting place and the mezzanine… just fit for lovers (dark and all...*winkZ*) ; ) well, being along the university belt, just expect different kinds of people.
Though I didn’t successfully found an alternative place for studying, I found another place for hanging out... (It has a potential…just place aircon and few tables outside for smokers to stay) All in all, location, food, and drinks wise… it’s not that bad at all…


Random thoughts…

If you had to choose…What would you prefer?

A lover who loves you more than his life which you don’t feel anything for him/her… Or
Someone whom you love more than your life which he/she don’t feel anything for you…

I’d choose the latter… I don’t know why… but I’d choose it. Anyway… FOR NOW.


when i do get a chance to review, or decided that i'll do good in school..there's always an interruption in school...like may events and all, no classes, programs... then yung drive or momentum ko gets lost again... why is it that way? it's ironic..

Things am looking forward to after the HELL WEEK

  • watch movies…
  1. Charlie and the chocolate factory. (with my lil bro and sis)
  2. Kill bill 1 and 2 (because of that season ender of CSI directed by Quetin Tarantino)
  3. CSI season ender (yes…i’ve been living under a rock. I blame it on our cable company!) least we still have wowow. Watch CSI every tues channel 90, 8 pm (thank you james!)
  4. Roman Holiday
  5. Casablanca (have to remind shoy for the vcd)

  • go shopping (Trixie… my besy…better get ready chica!)

  • G.A. for nutrition students (pink sistah effect)

  • Edukasiyahan… HALE and MYMP… hell yea!!!!!!!!!!!!! Champ-ion!

  • Parokya ni Edgar gig at myrics, españa (Aug. 22)

  • HALE gig at Virgin Café tomas morato (Aug. 28) which reminds me… I have 2 reserve tickets for that gig. Look for music students to reserve tickets (Izvet…my friend)

  • Read Nick Joaquin’s Cave and shadows (ok…not really but…could be. Well, it’s my book report for our phil. Lit course…hehe)

  • Finish reading twisted 7 (buy the twisted series…very motivating, and just a thrill to read what’s going on in mind of a Jessica Zafra)
well,... after next week... i'll par-tay! : )

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Porque éste es cómo me siento...

... Tenía una charla con mi amigoayer por la noche y él me preguntó cómo hacía con mi vida delamor... Dije que era solo y feliz, y eso ahora, a este punto en mi vida, No deseé complicar cosas. Entonces le preguntó lo que significa una vida complicada a mí, porque, cada vez que él me ve, Parezco tan feliz. Él incluso insistió encendido si usaba una máscara. Sí, estoy quizá... bien, olvídese de quizá... sí, Estoy usando una máscara. (hey, no consiga me... la incorrecta no orgullosa de ella... que es laverdad) finjo que soy feliz cuando soy trago totalmente y hacia fuera. Finjo que soy bien cuando no estoy realmente. Conjeturo que soy el gran pretender(sing con mí) porque, He engañado a muchos de gente alrededor de mí en el pensamiento deque estoy satisfecho con la manera que mi vida está resultando ser. (no solamente perteneciendo a mi hehe de la vida del amor...) aveces, consigue así que cansándose para hacer para creer que todo ESTÁbien. (no sé quién estoy convenciendo... si usted o yo) para el final deldía, cuando estoy todo solo, Me siento agotado, y tensionado todo para arriba sobre las cosas tontas que no sonnormalmente un problema con la gente mi edad. (porque pienso demasiado... extremadamente demasiado mucho., que consigue tan irritante ya. Esto alternadamente me hace privado de sueño. Si soy o no usando una máscara, al infierno con lo que piensa la gente. Esto es lo que me siento.

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babae akong namumuhay nang mag-isa

babae akong namumuhay nang mag-isa,
hiwalay sa asawa,
matandang dalaga,
kerida,
puta.

Ang aking pag-iisa’y batik na itinuring,
latay na pabaon ng nakaraan,
pilat na taglay habambuhay.

May pagsusulit na di ko nakayanan,
may timbangan sumukat sa aking pagkukulang,
May pagsusuring kumilatis
sa pagkatanso ng aking pagkatao.
Lagi’y may paghuhusga saaking pag-iisa.

Ang di nila nakita’y
Akin ang pasya.
Maliit na kalayaang
Hinahamak ng iba pang
Pagkapiit at pagkaalipin
Sa akiing lipunan.


Ang pag-iisa’y di pagtalikod sa
pag-ibig, o pagnanasa o pananagutan.
Hindi ito pagsuko
Sa katuparan ng mga pangako
O pagkakatutuo ng mga pangarap.
Hindi pagtanaw sa buhay
Nang hubad sa pag-asa.

Paghangad ko lamang
Na kamay ko ang magpatakbo sa aking orasan;
Puso at isipan and sumulat ng aking kasaysayan,
Sarili ko ang humubog sa aking kabuuan.
Hayaan akong mabuhay nang payapa,
nang hindi ikinakabit sa aking pangalan
ang mga tawag na pagkutya:
puta,
kerida
matandang dalaga,
hiwalay sa asawa,
babae man akong namumuhay nang mag-isa.


i just love this selection from our philippine literature course... it's by joi barrios from u.p.,
It embodies a strong willed, independent woman full of confidence and self- esteem. So much so that the character doesn't care whether she's alone and what other people think about her. She just dons what she does best... make way for WOMAN EMPOWERMENT! go chickas!

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not a CAT woman

I got bitten by an overweight hairball cat 2 days ago. I couldn’t walk or let alone sit properly without crying out for help, after I took anti rabies, PCEC and ERIG B (w/c came from horses…yeeeehaaa!) shots. Took 5 shots on that unfortunate Friday afternoon, and missed school, thankfully, my friends (vonne and cat) willingly accompanied me to San Lazaro (to the shock and dismay of my dade). 5 shots!!! Me, having a traumatic experience with needles back when I was little. ( I got terribly sick. it was like leukemia…it had all the signs of leukemia…I was black and blue all over… but it wasn’t leukemia...) anyways, having been through those scary, dark ages of my life, I never thought I could take in 5 shots…but I did! (Proud…but won’t ever do it again!...well if it’s a matter of life and death…of course I would probably take another shot.) well, having bitten by a cat inside UST… I came to me…why are there freakin’ cats in our campus??? Huh??? Not just any common house cats that are usually cleaner than those big hunter vagabond cats in uste! Eek! Fr. Rector dear, please kindly act on this. (thank you very much) hehe

After the 5 shots, I never returned to the (vet…hehe)…to the hospital to have the follow-up shots. My dade didn’t want me to go to San Lazaro. I didn’t go to the anti- rabies clinic referred to us by a family friend either. To my disappointment, I did not mutate to become “cat woman” what if I haven’t taken the shots in the first place??? What would happen?… Would I go loco or worst… be dead??

I never did like animals…cat being one of them. I used to play tricks on miming (dade’s house cat) when she was alive. (I did not kill the cat ok? Hehe) I would ran after and beat her to the point of exhaustion whenever she steals food from the kitchen or the dining table. I’m more of a dog person...but don’t push it. Dogs are loyal, subservient and affectionate. Like what the documentary I watched in discovery channel, they evolved from the family of wolves, and helped in the development of human civilization. Because of them, men were able to do other things other than guarding their territories from wild predators. Men were able to socialize with other people, developed the arts and culture without worrying about their homes. Ergo, those lead to the development of mankind. They protect you from harm, and defend you from attackers. That’s why dogs are tagged as mans' best friends.

Cats in general, is totally different story. They’re not loyal and completely reject to follow orders, not affectionate and it’s in there nature to claim territories. That’s why, when they cuddle next to you, don’t think that they love you, they’re merely claiming you as their territory (hmm…is this the same as to what we Filipinos think of our ka-relasyon? hehe)...it's a manifestation that they're trying to own you... they’re the same man-eating predators as the tigers, leopard and cheetah, only smaller and therefore cuter. But no matter how cute they may seem, they will never stop being hunters and killers until the end of time. Cats are hardcore: they’ve never bothered to alter their character. Expect that when it plays with other cats, it’s always war games.

For those cat lovers out there… *ahem*

“You don’t tame a cat, you form an alliance with it. In return they let you live”

-J. Zafra


I was thinking…

Are cats the same as women? Hehe…

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Caleruega...my sanctuary

I Just got back form our incredibly enlightening retreat from Caleruaga, Batangas. You should see the place… it’s where you can definitely reflect about your situation in life or just anything. You can just really feel the love of God through his creation… Caleruega IS breathtaking. It’s so amazing how it feels to be near Him… through nature.
The feeling of seeing the wonders of Gods creation made me feel so lucky to be alive…


After confession on the last day of the retreat, I wanted to break free from the anger that I’ve been keeping for quite sometime now… I wanted to run away... wanted to shout my head off from the pain that has been eating me up inside…to hell with everybody, that’s what I thought. I didn’t care. For that moment, I just stopped caring about what people thought of me… I did what I wanted to do….I scampered away…

I found myself sitting on a bench near the hidden chapel away from our group. I cried… cried like a baby… I felt like exploding…
I thought I was all alone...
But the funny thing was, some guy from the staff followed and came to check on me. He asked if I was alright. (and I was touched) somehow, the feeling of loneliness was alleviated … I felt that in some way, I was important… somebody did care.in the mean time, while I was gone, my friends, was also looking for me… which of course, made me happy. After knowing that!... Pinataba nila ang puso ko.
Back to the hidden chapel, I wiped away my tears… contemplated on what just happened… and saw the view from where I was sitting. Then I hit me…it’s like God spoke to me thru his creation. I’ve realized how lucky I am to be there, to see that magnificent view. Upon seeing that…I felt calmness, serenity, solitude, and peace… and as the wind blew, I knew it was God keeping me company, telling me that I WAS NEVER and WILL NOT BE ALONE. For the first time in years…I felt fortunate to be alive. Days, months, or even years from now, whenever the time comes that I’d feel down…I’ll just remember that feeling of calmness, serenity, solitude and peace that spectacular view which symbolized the love of God…and I’d feel fine.




sunset




see the beauty of Gods creation...hehe





Nutrition sections as ONE




a place where you could see the love of God...with the good company of amazingly wonderful friends...MY FRIENDS...MY ANGELS…




N2 survivors... batch 2006 ready to take on the challenges life will bring… ready to spread their wings and fly...like a beautiful

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Back from Baguio!

just got back from a wonderful and most exciting trip in baguio!

I had the chance to get to know more of my "study team" and 2 blockmates. We had so much fun especially our night out…tho it WAS a kinda disastrous night… time spent with those chicas was all worth it!... just wish we'd be able to do our thesis there! (Hey P.M.A.ers…specially *ahem*… Lt. Agas, sir *winkZ*… pls.pls. with cherry on top (duh!) approve our thesis proposal!)


well.. here's some pix of the study team and co. in baguio...



we love pma this much...




outside our place... (L-R kat-k,karen,shane,nona,and moi)...great chicas! i'm lucky i had the chance to get to know 'em all...specially karen and nona. : ) thank you guys!




like were in Disney land!...Baguio cathedral as our background.




teleserye melodramatic picture…featuring the teenage drama queens in mines view park




flower gurlz at good shepherd.buying some grubs for our families...





Homebound…sirain po ba ang car ng bro ni nona?...not quite : )

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what would you do?

my brother once asked me...”what would you do if you didn't have a clue on to what the answer in a multiple test question?” knowing myself... i was always playing safe... so i said, i'd leave it blank...then he told me that it wasn't a trick question, that he wan't trying to ploy me... so, he asked me again...well... i said that i'd probably WILL leave it blank...then he started sharing his thought about it and asked about some things about how i live my life... and i got into sharing things that have happened with my life so far...he said that it’s ganon talaga, sugod ng sugod...what's the worst that can happen? you fail? well shit, try and try again then i told him how i tried things out... only to hurt myself in the end because i know i failed... not only my own self but also the people around me, which he countered with telling me the I didn’t fail…I TRIED things, figured out it wasn't for me. that's life. ganyan lang talga, you gotta keep gettin up, keep trying. if one doesn't work, at least you're young enough to bounce back and keep trying. you know what? you won't know that unless you keep trying.all that i could say was..guess... no harm naman least you tried.. which my brother agreed then explained what possible things that could happen if i leave it blank..
· if you don't put an answer, you're 100% wrong ...

· if you guess, at least you have a 20% of getting it right.

Explanation why I wanted to leave it blank…
· i said leave it blank, coz i was so afraid of getting it wrong....but what I don’t realize is, by leaving it blank, I’m just guaranteeing that I’m wrong.

So the thing to do is… you gotta keep trying, kung mali, or if you fail, then at least you know it's not for you...it will help you make better choices next time. And better ask God’s guidance. He’ll never leave you hanging…

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whispers of a flutter_princess

float like a butterfly.... sting like a bee.....

"love work in miracles everyday: such as weakening the strong and strengthening the weak, making fools of the wise and wise men of fools, favouring passions, destroying reason, and in a word, turning everything topsy-turvy" *-Marguerite De Velois*

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MY 2004 GRATUITUDE LIST

As I take the moment to unpack the year that was, I find these precious souvenirs:

1. Things I tasted, looked at, smelled, heard, and touched:
carbonara made by Yvonne et al. AND the backed MAC me and paula made…(the one that got spilled over the door of the oven…but still the gang ate it! …hehehe now guys, you know…we’re sooo sorry!...sayang eh…pero delish right?),looked at the cute babies at the malnutrition ward over at ust…a bittersweet moment, sent of moonflower and papaya oil mist by body shop, music of mymp/spongecola/switchfoot/kitchie nadal/chicosci/ and bamboo, touched *Mac cardona’s abs!* winkZ*

2. Experiences I will cherish:
Spending a day in tarlac with the aieta community and playing with the kids there, and realizing that I love my life, even though it’s all twisted and fucked up.
Those overnight stays of friends over at our house, especially the night that almost all of US were complete (Camille!!!! wasn’t there!...) even Cat and Paula- the 2 college students I know, who can’t stay out after 6 pm, stayed over just to make sure that we’ll be able to see Ella take the flight for L.A.
The day Ella left for L.A. (ahh!...the dreaded day for all of us!) miss you girl!
And Being around my childhood friends! And now mah soul sistahs

3. Life lessons I learned:
Take your time… don’t rush… coz it won’t do any good!

4. This belief I outgrew:
Belief in democracy... in today’s time… do we still have it? Does it still prevail and stand for what it insists on? – I mean… in our PI government… whatdyathink?

5. This conviction I lived by:
Dream BIG…coz it will serve as your guide in life

6. These risk I took:
BATTLE SCARS...Giving so called “love” a chance… but got trampled upon by some asswh*le(well, guess am gonna hafta choose the best one(s) next time! wahahaha) but I took pleasure on seeing their stupid faces 1st, and then gave em a chance to take revenge at my expense! Well, that’s how the cycle of stupidity works! the experience was FUN and interesting tho! Teehee

7. These sufferings strengthened me:
Overspending and being broke… and TaPy, owee, chaps and aikey (hey cLdiary!, salamat!) am getting the hang of it!

8. What influenced me most:
My living, talking, opinionated cLdiary! Gracias mi amiga!
Mi PAPA’

9. What I regret:
Just 1 thing…NOT being forthright…

10. The persons who meant so much to me:
EVERYONE… and those who made the year 2004 FUN FUN FUN!

11. My unfulfilled desires:
I want to go bungee jumping, trek the crater of mt. Pinatubo, go to bora with friends ONLY, go to paris (hoy von! Bago matapos ang 1st year ng work ha???!!!), go to spain (ms. paula gonzales, my dearfriend… is your offer still good? *winkZ*) buy an ipod, ibook, digicam (canon ixus),…………………………….list goes on….. WORLD PEACE! - Tschüs! Adios! Año 2004!

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