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VISA NI LOLO


A 70-year old 'lolo' from the province was accompanied by a grandson to the US Embassy in Manila for his VISA interview. The lolo spoke not a word of English so the grandson translated for him. The Consul told the youngman to ask his grandfather why he wanted to go to the States.


"Bakit daw ho ninyo gustong pumunta sa Amerika?" The grandson translated.

"Sabihin mo gusto kong makita yung mga anak ko doon.."


"He said he wants to see his children there."


Fair enough, that's what the lolo's application indicated.


The Consul had another question. "Ask him why does he have to

go there?


Why can't his children just come and visit him here?"


The grandson translated this in Tagalog.


Lolo replied: "Sabihin mo kasi dito pinanganak yung mga anak ko. Nakita na nila ang Pilipinas. Gusto ko namang makita ang Amerika bago ako mamatay."


(Translation: "Tell him, my children were born here. They've seen the Philippines already. I just want to see America before I die.")

The HEARTLESS Consul was unimpressed as he declared, devoid of any emotion, that he was rejecting the visa application "because the applicant
was unable to speak any word of English."



"Reject daw yung visa ninyo kasi hindi daw kayo marunong mag-Ingles."

The lolo was equally unimpressed. "Sabihin mo ito sa kanya at huwag na huwag mong papalitan ang sasabihin ko: "Putang ina niya, bakit siya nandidito eh hindi naman siya marunong mag Tagalog! ?"


Translated, "He said: You son of a bitch, how come you are here... you do not know how to speak Tagalog!?"


Taken aback, sense of humor still intact, the consul relented and approved lolo's visa application in pronto.


Go LoLo...Mabuhay ang Pinoy!!!

(Taken from The Philippine Star (newspaper), written by Boo

Chanco)

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WHAT TO TAKE TO BED WITH YOU



- not a joke.

This is a pretty neat idea. I never thought of it before.

Put your car keys beside your bed at night.

Tell your spouse, your children, your neighbors, your parents, your Dr's office, the check-out girl at the market, everyone you run across. Put your car keys beside your bed at night.


If you hear a noise outside your home or someone trying to get in your house, just press the panic button for your car.. The alarm will be set off, and the horn will continue to sound until either you turn it off or the car battery dies. This tip came from a neighborhood watch coordinator. Next time you come home for the night and you start to put your keys away, think of this: It's a security alarm system that you probably already have and requires no installation. Test it. It will go off from most everywhere inside your house and will keep honking until your battery runs down or until you reset it with the button on the key fob chain. It works if you park in your driveway or garage. If your car alarm goes off when someone is trying to break into your house, odds are the burglar/rapist won't stick around. After a few seconds all the neighbors will be looking out their windows to see who is out there and sure enough the criminal won't want that. And remember to carry your keys while walking to your car in a parking lot. The alarm can work the same way there. This is something that should really be shared with everyone. Maybe it could save a life or a sexual abuse crime.


P.S. I am posting this because I think it is fantastic. Would also be useful for any emergency, such as a heart attack, where you can't reach a phone. My Mom has suggested to my Dad that he carry his car keys with him in case he falls outside and she doesn't hear him.. He can activate the car alarm and then she'll know there's a problem.

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14 days Fitnesse challenge


Kick–start your way to a healthier lifestyle!



Independent research shows that that those who eat whole grains tend to weigh less than those who
don’t and are less likely to gain weight over time.
This meal plan is designed to maximize the benefits of NESTLÉ FITNESSE whole grain cereal on your figure. For best results replace breakfast and one main meal for 14 days with a cereal such as NESTLÉ FITNESSE. Eat plenty of fruits and vegetable and low-fat carbohydrate-rich foods, and remember to exercise.

Sample Meal Plan:


BREAKFAST

30g bowl of NESTLÉ
FITNESSE with 125ml
skimmed milk, 1 fruit, 1
tea or coffee

LUNCH

30g bowl of NESTLÉ
FITNESSE with 125ml
skimmed milk, vegetables
or low fat soup, low fat
yogurt.

DINNER

Balanced meal with
vegetables, meat or fish or
eggs, bread, dairy
products


In between meals:
• a serving of any fresh fruit and vegetables.


REMINDER:

• Lunch and dinner meal options are interchangeable. Aside from breakfast, ONE main
meal has to be replaced with NESTLÉ FITNESSE.


Note: this is only recommended if you’re over 18 with a BMI of more than 25. And remember, if you’re taking medication or want to lose more than 20% of your starting weight, *do talk to your doctor before beginning our program.

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